Tuesday, March 8, 2022

It's ok, I don't know what to say, either

The outpouring of love and support I have received has been amazing. Messages, cards, phone calls, care packages, personal notes from cancer survivors. Thank you so much. Every message has been meaningful. I apologize if my responses have been brief, and I hope you understand.   

Every once in a while I receive a note that says, "You know, I've been wanting to reach out but I didn't know what to say..." And you know what? THAT'S OK. Even a quick, "thinking of you," or "damn, this sucks," or just a Facebook click lets me know people are out there rooting for me. But if I don't hear from you at all, I get it. That's ok, too. Quite frankly, I don't have a clue what to say, either. There's no script for this. 

I had an entire conversation with my dean in the hall the other day, talking about my spouse and kids and all the chit-chatty things. What did I NOT tell him? You guessed it. How does one bring such a thing up during a light-hearted conversation? "Yes, the spouse is good, kids are great, just this little cancer thing..." 😬 Then you've dropped a bomb on a perfectly pleasant conversation, and made it all awkward. But then my department chair told the dean later, and now it's all awkward because I DIDN'T mention it. I am SO not good at this. 

So if you need to send me good vibes silently in the privacy of your own thoughts, I totally understand. I'll just be over here in my own awkward mind, appreciating the heck out of you.  ðŸ˜¬

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